How could I leave?
by forevermagik
Summary: This is Edward's version of Why did you leave? If you haven't read that one, I advise you read that one before reading this one. It'll make more sense that way.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: _**This is Edward's version of "Why did you leave?" I had originally intended to add it on after "Why did you leave?" But I decided that it's best as its own story. So, here is "How could I leave?"

**_A/N2: _**A while ago, I added lyrics to "Why Did You Leave?" now I am adding lyrics to this one. The reason for the big gap in the addings is that I had to find lyrics that fit this song just right.

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Twilight. Nor do I own the lyrics of "She Is" by _The Fray. _

* * *

_Do not get me wrong I cannot wait for you to come home_

"How could he! We didn't even tread on his land! The treaty was that we stay off their land; they don't reveal who we are! They just violated it! They broke it entirely!" I was pacing around Carlisle's office, trying to get him to see reason.

"Edward, we can't help the fact that they told the whole town. They only did it because, in their eyes, Bella is like their land. They justify it by saying we violated it."

"Bella is not property! She is my life my love, my _everything! _I can't leave her!"

"We have to leave Forks, the people will get suspicious. I promise that we will be back after everything settles down. We won't even sell the house. We'll just take the necessities and go to our other house in Alaska."

I growled. He was asking me to leave the thing that I cared about most.

"She is a magnet for danger! Who knows what trouble she might get into!"

"Bella will be fine, she's survived for seventeen years so far."

I had already lost this argument, anything else said would just be desperate pleas.

"I'd better go tell her goodbye."

"You're doing the right thing Edward."

* * *

_For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own_

My life in Alaska was horrible. My Bella was not here and it was like a big part of my life was missing.

We met another coven. The Sarido's. The three girls were sought after by every boy in school, but they ignored all of them. They were like us, they separated themselves by choice, not by rejection.

One of them asked me why I was so depressed all the time. I told her it was because I missed Bella. She seemed to understand.

I found it a little annoying that they all talked at once but said the same thing. I ignored them most of the time. The oldest one tried to flirt with me, in a pitiful attempt to make me feel better. It didn't even register. Rosalie had to point it out.

Rosalie just didn't understand why I was so depressed. Everyone else saw me and knew what I was suffering. Even if they had never suffered it themselves. Rosalie saw me and didn't get it. She may never get it.

Alice told me of every vision she saw of Bella. All of them included a depressed Bella, most of them included a tripping, falling, or otherwise hurting herself by accident Bella. I knew she wasn't hurting herself on purpose.

She turned down every invitation to prom and didn't even ask anyone to the girl's choice dance. It pained me to see that she never blushed anymore. She was hurting as much as I was. I didn't want her to suffer. I wished that I could take it away, but I knew I couldn't show up in Forks just yet.

She had lost the willpower to eat. I couldn't believe it. She was so skinny, it was unhealthy. I knew she wasn't anorexic or anything, she just didn't have the strength to eat. I was going to arrive in Forks to a sick, unhealthy Bella. How could she do this?

She was so pale, paler than usual. Her eyes were void of any emotion, save for depression. This had to stop. I had to go see her!

As I walked to Carlisle's room, I ran into Alice, she was having a vision.

"What did you see?" I asked as soon as it was over.

She showed me.

Bella was standing in front of a mirror in a beautiful dress. Her mom was talking to her, but the words didn't even seem to register. There was pain in my Bella's eyes. Her mom finished and left. Bella just stood there for a few more minutes before gathering up her things for a shower.

That vision was heartrending. _I have to see her again.

* * *

_

**_A/N3: _**Well, there it was, more to come soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: _**So... here's chapter 2.

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Twilight/lyrics squared.

* * *

_To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand_

"Carlisle, I have to see her! She's becoming more and more depressed and I'm worried she might do something on the stupid side."

"Well, I was going to wait to tell you in a couple of days, but we were going to go down there after the senior graduation. We're going down the day of graduation. I've already got an entire floor booked in a hotel in Port Angeles."

"That's tomorrow!" I ran up to my room to pack.

Carlisle announced it to the rest of the family. And they all went to pack.

As I was packing, Rosalie came into my room.

"What do you want?" I mumbled, I really hadn't been happy with her lately.

"To say I'm sorry."

I dropped the shirt I was holding.

"What?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. I've been really stupid these past few months, in fact, I've been stupid ever since you met Bella."

"What's come over you Rose?"

"Well, seeing you like this, depressed all the time. At first I thought you were just being stupid. Then I realized just how much you miss her. I thought about if Emmett went missing…."

"I accept your apology."

"Thank you, I hope we find her."

"We will."

* * *

_Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land_

We had been in Port Angeles for about an hour. I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to go see her.

"Where do you think you're going?" Alice stopped me at the door.

"To see Bella."

"Carlisle said to wait until tomorrow."

"But…"

"Look, as far as I know, Bella's fine. I haven't seen her in any trouble, only the slightest trip down the stairs."

"Alice, this isn't because I think she's in danger, this is because I need to see her."

"Okay, I can cover for you for an hour. Hurry though."

"Thanks Alice." I hugged her and ran off.

I made it to Forks faster than I had expected. I still had around 50 minutes to get back.

I got there in time to see Bella trip on the stage. I would have cried at her actions after that, she just got up, straightened her dress and kept walking. She didn't even blush or cry. She was the way she was in the vision. Her eyes were dull and void. She was stick skinny, it worried me.

After the procession, she was invited to the graduation party, but she declined and followed her parents to the cruiser.

She looked my way, but I'm not sure she saw me.

I looked at my watch and realized that I only had 15 minutes. I had to go, but I promised myself that I would be back for her, tomorrow. Maybe tonight, if I could talk Carlisle into it.

* * *

**_A/N2: _**Well, there it was, hope it was as good as the original. Chapter 3 to be posted soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: _**Well, here's the next chapter! 

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Twilight/lyrics cubed.

* * *

_This is going to break me clean in two_

I arrived back at the hotel to find Alice sobbing tearlessly.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's Victoria! She's going to get Bella! But she's blocking me from seeing her! All I saw was Victoria putting Bella down! She has blocking powers, as well as paralyzing ones!"

_No…_

I tried to listen for her thoughts, none came. It was like hitting a wall, like I did with Bella.

"It's like I'm hitting a wall." Alice and I said simultaneously.

We ran off to Carlisle.

* * *

_This is going to bring me close to you_

We told him of her vision and he told us to go over there, in hopes that we might be able to prevent it.

We were too late.

We got there in time to see Charlie crawl in the cruiser saying, "I'll find her." Rene cried into Phil's shoulder.

Alice and I snuck into Bella's window.

Victoria made it look as if Bella had simply just disappeared, or snuck out. The window was not broken, there was no sign of a struggle.

Lying on the desk, was Bella's diploma.

I picked it up, obviously Victoria had placed it here. Her scent lingered in the room, but no where else.

"Can you see anything?" I whispered.

_Still a blank wall._

"Me too."

We crawled out the window and attempted to track Victoria.

Her scent was no where. After an hour of searching, we returned to the hotel to give the rest the news.

The only thing that ran through my head was: _how could I let her go? _

* * *

**_A/N2: _**I know it's short, but the next chapter will be longer. 


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: _**So, here's chapter 4!

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Twilight/lyrics to the fourth power.

* * *

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

We searched and searched for Bella. But she could not be found. Victoria had disguised her scent so well, we could not track her.

Her parents held a memorial service for her after a week.

The seven of us attended. We didn't make ourselves known, we stood by in the forest watching. They declared her missing, but I heard their thoughts, they all presumed her dead.

I think all of Forks attended. Everyone from school was there with their families. Then there were the people who knew Charlie, either from his school days or later in his life. The entire police squad attended. So, all in all, I think everyone was there.

It was surprising that they all fit in Bella's backyard. But they did. After the service, we left.

We left Forks again. We didn't return to Alaska. We were to continue our search.

We never stayed in more than one place for more than a couple of weeks. At first, Rosalie and Emmett complained. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme understood why we were doing this, Rosalie and Emmett didn't. Eventually, they stopped.

* * *

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

Time was slipping away. Three months had passed. I had unlimited time, but Bella didn't.

The others were doubting her being alive. Alice tried to see what had happened to her, but she had no luck.

I never gave up. Part of me was telling me that there was no way she could be alive. Victoria would have killed her. The other part refused to believe that she was anything but alive and still out there.

Alice told me there would be two reasons why she couldn't see Bella. One, Victoria's spell was still in affect over her, which, sadly could last until Victoria died and several years afterward if it was strong enough. The other reason would be that Bella was… no! I couldn't dare think it.

We were on the move for about a year.

It was a year from the day my Bella was taken away from me. We stopped back at our house in Forks. Alice and Jasper went out to see if there was any more news of Bella that the small town might know about.

I sat down at the grand piano and played.

First, I played the lullaby I made for Bella. Then I played a few other things that were on my mind. Some of them were songs that Alice insisted on listening to and I had acquired a taste for. Others were songs that Emmett or Jasper liked. I even played a few of Rosalie's favorites. I played one of Esme's and one of Carlisle's.

Then I sat and played a totally new song. I made it up right then and there. It started out slow, then moved into a more faster pace. My fingers flew over the piano. Then it slowed down again toward the end. When I had finished, I looked up, I had an audience.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were all standing, watching me.

"That was beautiful." Alice said after a couple of minutes. The rest nodded in agreement.

"You should write it down." Esme said.

"No, I'll just play it again until I memorize it." And I did, I spent all night memorizing it, tweaking it, making it perfect. By morning, I knew it perfectly.

"Any news?" I asked Alice as I got up from the piano.

She shook her head.

I sunk back to the piano bench and wept tearlessly.

_She was gone. How could I leave her? _

* * *

_It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down_

We stayed in Forks for a long time. None of us went to school. Technically, no one even knew we were here. We had enough money to get us by for quite a while. Eventually, we would either move, or announce our comeback to the area.

Alice commented that I hadn't hunted for a while. I hadn't even noticed my thirst. I hardly left the piano, I created song after song. I dedicated them all to Bella. I only hoped she would be able to hear them some day.

I now regretted not changing her. If I had changed her, she would be here, or somewhere else with me. I would know where she was. But I was too selfish. I didn't want her to be a monster like me. I didn't want her to try and destroy herself like Carlisle did. I didn't want to see her in that pain.

Alice and Jasper had to drag me out to hunt.

"It's not safe!" Alice said. "You can't be living so close to humans when you're this thirsty!"

I followed her to the mountains.

I didn't even notice what I was doing. I hunted without vigor or emotion. My life had been taken from me once, when I was changed into what I am. Now, it was taken from me again, when my Bella was taken from me.

If only I had just killed Billy and stolen away Bella for myself.

If only I had changed her.

If only I wasn't so selfish.

There were just too many "if only's" now I was stuck in the now.

I thought about killing myself. It wouldn't be easy, but I would figure out some way. But I couldn't, Bella was still out there, I knew it.

* * *

**_A/N2: _**Don't worry, he doesn't kill himself. Besides, you all know how it ends anyway if you've read "Why did you leave?" 

**_A/N3: _**Chapter 5 to come soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: _**It makes me so happy when you all review!

**_A/N2: _**Anyway here's chapter 5. As Edward's part of the story closes.

**_Disclaimer: _**Je ne possède pas le _Crépuscule_. That's I don't own _Twilight_ in French. I'm not sure the sentence structure is right though. Correct me if I'm wrong.

* * *

_I don't know where it is, I don't know when, but I want you around_

We stayed in Forks for almost a year. In that year, I think I hunted twice. Both times, Alice or someone else had to drag me away from the piano or from my room outside to where I could hunt.

It had been three years since I had seen my Bella. I longed to see her, to hear her voice, to smell that wonderful scent that hovered around her, that I almost killed a class full of people for, because it was so perfect and haunting at the same time.

One day, Carlisle said we were going to move back to Alaska.

It didn't really register. I just mindlessly packed my things and put them in the car.

We arrived there and I took my things to the room that was mine. We still had a house here. It was our other home.

Carlisle asked me to go see if the Sarido's wanted to hunt with us. Provided the Sarido's were still here.

_Why me? _I thought. _Why can't Alice do it?_

But I went anyway.

_When it falls into place with you and I, we go from if to when_

It occurred to me that it was two years from the date of Bella's senior graduation.

I'm not sure what made me think of that, it just came to my mind.

I didn't run through the forests, just merely walked at a vampire's pace, which was still faster than a human run.

I made it to the Sarido's. Someone was playing the piano. I didn't even know they had one, much less played.

What surprised me most, is that whoever was playing, was playing "Clair de Lune."

I peeked in the window, but I couldn't see whoever was at the piano.

I thought about ringing the doorbell, but I decided not to, I would just wait until the song was over.

When the song was over, another one started immediately, this one was "My Immortal". Someone was singing along.

_Your side and mine are both behind it's indication_

That someone was…Bella? How could it be? Unless she was still alive, or a vampire…

I let myself in the front door.

I was hidden in the darkness of the entryway. Images filled the front room. This must be Bella's gift. It was beautiful. It was even more beautiful that most of the images included me and Bella together. I would have wept if I could. I choked back a sob, I could not reveal my presence, not yet.

I could not smell her blood, but I could smell her scent, it hadn't changed much.

She played a few more songs then stopped. Shouts of "Encore" filled the room.

A smug look crossed Bella's face, "I'm not done," she said.

She set her fingers back down and played…

…the lullaby that I had written for her.

_This is going to bring me clarity_

She finished and stood. I noticed she was in the same beautiful dress she wore at her graduation.

"Play it again!" Someone said.

Bella sat down, poised to play.

But before she could, I began to hum the lullaby.

It was time to make myself known. .

_This'll take the heart right out of me_

"Edward" She said. It was not a question, it was a statement, she knew I was here.

I stepped out of the darkness of the entryway.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

She stood up and ran to me.

She ran, in stiletto heels that I just now realized that she was wearing, without tripping.

She fell into my arms and I embraced her.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

I tilted her face up to me so I could see her eyes. I had to know if she was a vampire. .

"So it's true then." I found that I wasn't mad or anything, I was too excited.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who let you go. We left Alaska to return to Forks. But you were already gone. I could not track you. Victoria disguised the scent. She disguised her actions from Alice. She hid her thoughts from me. It's one of her gifts, she has many." It all came out in a rush, but I couldn't help it. I was dreaming, my Bella was here!

"It is by chance that I find you here, Carlisle wanted to invite you to a hunting trip, but that just might have to be postponed." I continued.

"Take her to your family." Robert said. "It's where she belongs. Just make sure she comes back for her things."

"Thank you for rescuing her. You don't know what this means to me." None of them did.

"I rescue people. It's what I do." Katherine stated.

I smiled and picked her up.

"You look very beautiful. And you play beautifully as well." I kissed her neck and ran into the forest. She didn't even seem to mind the speed.

* * *

**_A/N3: _**Well, there you go. My favorite chapter in Edward's POV. What could be better? 


	6. Epilogue

**_A/N: _**Here's the epilogue!

**_Disclaimer: _**Must I put one of these in every chapter? Well, I don't own Twilight or the lyrics.

* * *

Forests of Alaska

_This is going to bring me to my knees_

"I hope Alice didn't see this." I said as we ran through the trees. I couldn't believe it, I had found my Bella. If Alice had seen us, she would have surely told the rest, and I wanted Bella to walk in and surprise them.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because, it would be more of a surprise if they didn't know." I said simply.

"True, you want me to be a surprise?"

I laughed. She was still the same old Bella.

We came out of the trees to the house.

"Our other home." I knew she was going to ask, so I answered before she did.

"And you say you can't read my mind!" she replied.

"I can't, I just knew you were going to ask."

_I just want to hold you close to me_

Alice was sitting on the front step, she leapt up when we came into view.

"Oh my gosh! It's true! I didn't want to believe it! I didn't even tell anyone else because of it!" She jumped around us.

"Bella, you're wearing stilettos without me strapping them to your feet!" So I wasn't the only one who had noticed that.

"Yeah, they were from my second senior graduation."

"Second?" Alice and I both asked.

"I'll explain everything at once, can we just get inside?" I could tell she didn't want to explain several times.

"Alice, you go in first," I said.

But she was already through the door, holding it open for us.

The rest of the family was in the front room.

"Good Edward you're back, I thought you were lost," Emmett said, then he saw Bella, walk in right behind me.

"He's found his angel…" I smiled. I had indeed found my angel.

"What are you talking about Emmett?" Rosalie asked, then, upon seeing Bella, she exclaimed, "Oh!"

The others came running to see what was going on, Bella was mobbed.

They all were very excited to see her, I waited it out, I would have her to myself later. They hugged her fifty times over, Emmett would have crushed her with his bear hug had she still been human. Even Rosalie was pleased to see her, for which I was grateful.

After all that, they all demanded to know what happened. Especially Alice.

"It was like hitting a blank wall when I tried to see anything related to you! Victoria disguised it so well, I couldn't see anything related to you until I had the vision of you and Edward running through the forest! Her affects lasted years after she was destroyed!"

I led Bella to a back room where a small piano sat.

"I think you should show them what happened." I said. "We only have one grand one, that one's in Forks, we never did sell that house." I continued, gesturing to the piano.

She nodded in understanding and sat down at the piano bench. She played the same performance I had heard her give the Sarido's an hour previously. She was taking great care to show everything.

"Wow" was all everyone said when I was done. Even though I had already heard it, it was still magnificent.

"Remind me to thank the Sarido's," Carlisle added.

"I already did." I said.

"Hey, Bella, you said you started college, but what are you getting a degree in?" Jasper asked.

"Medicine, the sight of human blood doesn't make me sick anymore, and I can stand it as well as Carlisle." Bella replied.

Carlisle beamed.

"Come on! We have a hunting trip to finish!" Emmett whined.

"Bella can't hunt in that! Come on let's get you changed!" Alice exclaimed.

I let Alice take Bella over.

I waited outside in the hallway, listening to the conversation.

"Where did you get this dress?" I heard Alice ask.

"It was from my first graduation. Tonight's the first night I've worn it since then." Bella replied.

"It's really pretty."

When they walked out of the room, I was waiting for them. "It's not pretty, it's beautiful." I whispered in her ear.

She smiled.

* * *

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

We got the Sarido's and all hunted together. All of us were surprised that Bella didn't go for the bears, but rather caribou and other herbivores. It made sense though, I'm not sure why, it just did.

"That can't be as filling!" Emmett exclaimed.

"It works for me." She stated.

When we had finished, we went to the Sarido's so Bella could get her things.

"Thank you for taking me in." She said for the fiftieth time.

"It was no problem…"

"You were part of the family…"

"You always will be…"

"Promise you'll come back…"

"I promise."

I could never get used to the three of them.

She packed her clothes, CDs, books, and other personal items; leaving the furniture behind.

Once all the goodbyes were said, Alice and I helped Bella run her bags to the house.

We packed her things in the Mercedes along with all of our bags and were soon driving away.

* * *

Cullen's house, Washington

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

The day after we got back, I called Renee, telling her that there was something important waiting for her in Forks and she needed to meet at Charlie's house tomorrow. She asked so many questions, but I only told her enough to make sure she came.

The next day, I told Alice to give Bella a complete makeover. I was surprised when Rosalie offered to help. But Alice let her. Rosalie really had changed over the past few years. I told Alice to keep it simple, nice, but not too formal.

While they were working on Bella, I simply just changed into a pair of khaki pants and a white button-up shirt.

I waited downstairs for them. Finally, they led her down. She was wearing a simple black skirt and a green blouse. Even in those plain clothes, she looked breathtaking.

I led her to the Volvo and held out the door for her, helping her in.

_She is everything I needed_

"Will you please tell me where we're going!" She stated once I was in the car.

"You'll see." I replied, turning the key in the ignition.

A few minutes later, we were pulling into the driveway of Charlie's house.

"Wait here," I said, getting out and going up to ring the doorbell.

Charlie answered. Just as I had hoped.

"Why, Edward, have you guys moved back here?"

"As a matter of fact, we have, oh, I have something for you…" I gestured to the car and Bella got out, she had perfect timing.

"Bella!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Dad!" Bella seemed very excited to see him.

"We though you were gone! It looked as if you had run away!"

She smiled as she followed him inside to tell him the whole story.

Renee and Phil were in the living room as well. Good, just as I had planned.

"I took the liberty of telling your mom and Phil to meet us here." I whispered in her ear.

"So that's who you were calling over and over yesterday!"

I nodded.

"Bella!" Renee exclaimed as Bella walked in.

"Mom!" She ran over to hug her.

I stood by the doorway until Charlie told me to have a seat. I took a seat next to Bella and let her tell her story.

_She is everything_

_Fin_

* * *

**_A/N2: _**Well, there you go. I had so much fun doing that! 

**BIG EDIT: There probably won't be a sequel due to the fact that I am plotless. I might do an alternate ending, but that will be all. **


	7. Author's Note

I would like to thank:

Twink2214

Twilight Chick

passionfornight

Opague

Yukiko101

JustMeSilly

rin09

and

emotional-dreamer

All for reviewing. And in some cases reading my story and helping me through it from the beginning.

I would also like to thank:

JustMeSilly

Opague

Rush of Waves

Twilight Chick

and

Yukiko101

All for putting this story on their favorites list.

"How Could I leave?" was a very fun story to write. It was so cool to do it from Edward's POV. This is my third-ever finished story, and I thank everyone who read and reviewed.

Thank you again, to all who stuck with me from the beginning and helped me make my story better.

"Why Did You Leave?" Is the twin story to this. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It's in Bella's POV. I'm probably going to write an alternate ending to these sister stories, but with school starting and everything, you'll just have to be patient with me.

_Edit: I've added the lyrics of "She is" by _The Fray.

Thanks again!

magik


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